In honor of being a newlywed, I thought it might be time for yet another “adventures in love” post. I’m FAR from an expert, but I’m a good listener, and this by far the most life-changing advice I’ve come across.
1. Try to Make Each Other’s Lives Better Every Single Day
This is the golden rule in my family — the piece of advice that’s given in “father of the bride” toasts, and originated with the relationship geisha of the clan.
Too often, we fall into the same habits and lifestyles post-relationship that we had pre. We take care of our own business first, becoming co-habitants instead of a true team.
But if you’re always looking for ways to make your partner’s life better — whether it’s happily picking up their laundry when they’re running late, or something a little more substantial — you’ll both be taken care of and you’ll be a stronger unit because of it.
2. Watch Your Words — Really
It drives me crazy when people say things like “you’re so annoying” or “I hate you, stop it.” Even when they say it in jest!
Guys, WORDS MEAN THINGS. And if you say it in jest, what do you think you’ll say during a fight? And how quickly do you think that fight is going to snowball?
“He said I was XYZ, so I responded, and then he said…”
If you don’t say inflammatory blanket statements, you’ll be able to deal with conflict much more rationally.
3. Sometimes, Work Comes First
This one might be a little controversial because we’ve all had “family first” drilled into us since childhood, but I don’t think that line is meant to apply in every circumstance.
If someone is working hard to put food on the table, there is zero reason to get upset with them for having to work late, work from home over the weekend, whatever it is. In many ways, they’re doing all that work for their family.
If you’re coming back from a 12-hour day, wouldn’t you rather come home to someone who’s happy to see you and proud of how hard you work, than someone who’s mad at you for working hard?
4. Stay Away From Toxic Couples
Treasure your relationship like the gem it is, and avoid toxic couples like the plague.
According to a study by Brown University, you’re 75% more likely to get divorced if a close friend or family member gets divorced. That statistic is INSANE.
Obviously you can show some human decency if a friend or family member calls after some issue, but nothing you say is going to help a truly toxic couple — the one that goes from one fight to another, constantly tearing each other down and ripping each other apart.
At the end of the day, the only relationship you can really affect is your own. Guard it!
Once again, I’m no expert and this list is by no means all-inclusive. This is the life-changing advice that I’ve come across, but there is plenty more out there. I’d love to hear yours! If you have anything you think should be added, let me know in the comments box.